Odd One Out: A misfit's plight

I am paying 1200 a month to be derided 6 days a week every week. I am being taught & tested, preached and scolded, tortured, intimidated and even harassed.
I have joined a gym.
And i am being reminded, over and over again, that not only i am grossly unfit, i am also a misfit.
I did not have to wait long for the first of the many miserable days. I was doing something with the lightest available dumbles, all twisting and jerking and panting and perspiring when one of the many haughty, muscular 'tashan-man' came to me, straightened my body, and clenched my shoulders tightly.
"Kya khake aaya tha subah?" He said with such an authority that I felt like a school kid treated by his PT taskmaster.
"kuch nahin." I said sheepishly
"tabhi yeh haal hain." Right then the trainer arrived and a few others circled around me. "Sir ye kya hai...bachche bhi aate hai aajkal."
"Arey ye engineer saab hai." But that din't seem to make any difference to that man. He was enjoying the contrasts in our physique and wanted to explore all the ways to humiliate me. He continued, "Kitne saal ka hai?"
"23." i thought this would earn me some respect.
"16-17 bolta to bhi maan leta. Bahut boori halat hai yaar teri. Gym aane se kuch nahin hona...yeh t-shirt sahi pehni hai tune UNICEF ki." Three or four of them laughed quitely. I wanted to say that I was wearing a Barca T shirt and UNICEF was their 'Proud Sponsor'. But it was too dangerous a time to say anything.
Now, may be it was the absence of muscles on my chicks and the way my skin glued was to the bones that prompted The guy to ask, "Sutta pita hai kya?"
"Beer pita hain."
"tabhi yeh halat hain." Now someone from the 'spectators' asked, "girlfriend hai?"
"Nahin" I said smiling at my own misery.
"fir zinda kyon hai yaar." I knew that was coming but what was i to say! I had no answers. They probably were not right but i din't know why they were wrong.
The silence of a few seconds gave the trainer an opportunity to impart me some gyan. "Apko ek baat boloon, charm lao zindagi mein. Beer weer peyo, ladki wadki patao, warna hai naa Narak mein jaoge."
"Wahi to hoon, sir." I said laughing at myself. So did they and dispersed. At last. That was the end of my plight for that day.
Later when i was recollecting the events, suddenly i got enlightened. No one can injure your ego if u r willing to laugh at ur own self. Lets see if it works.

Popular Posts